Nov. 8 Business News

Strike at MicroSoft

Employees at Microsoft walked off the job today, complaining that the company was giving them too many stock bonuses. Employee representatives are now meeting with Bill Gates to try and resolve the matter

IPO Soars 1st Day

The lastest internet IPO, ChewingGum.com, rose sharply on the opening bell, going from $5 to over $350 in fifteen minutes of trading. The on-line company sells over 200 different varieties of chewing gum. The first quarter sales rose a hefty 800%, and by year-end the company expects to have revenues of over 500 million.

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The 2001 Market - Bull or Bear?

Question: What is your gut feeling about next year's market, given the wild ride that investors were on this past year?

Lynch: I think investors should pull out of the market, we haven't even began to see the bottom. I recommend a safer investment. Put all your money in peanuts, yes peanuts. Your investment will be safe there. If the Dow goes down below 5000, as I have predicted, you will still have your peanuts.

Question: Won't you have to buy a lot of peanuts to cover the value of stock?

Lynch: Yes, that might be a problem, but you could store them in all the empty office buildings. And remember this, the legume is enclosed in a shell which will help preserve it, and if times do get bad, as I have predicted, you can always eat your peanuts.

Question: Did you discover the peanut investment while shopping at the Mall with your wife and daughters as you have on past occassions?

Lynch: Actually, this investment tip came from one of my most reliable sources, my Maltese Terrier, Tippy. You know she's the one who told me to invest in Volvo, She likes to ride in the back seat of the family wagon and she told me that dogs liked Volvo's better than any other car.

Question: Now, Mr. Lynch, isn't that a little strange, getting investment tips from a dog?

Lynch: Oh no, not at all. To be a good investor, you have to keep your eyes and ears open all the time. You remember when I bought all that IBM stock, it was a five-bagger when I sold, if I remember correctly. Well, one afternoon, I was feeding the fish in my daughters' aquarium, the girls were at camp you see, and I noticed all the bubbles the pump was putting out. Those bubbles, as they rose to the top of the water, were forming a pattern that clearly said "IBM." By golly, I dropped everything and drove into Boston and started figuring out how much IBM stock I could buy when the markets opened the next day. Yes, indeed, you never know where you will find out about a good investment.